the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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