Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
