Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
