She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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