I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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