I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
