we have pet lesbian snakes
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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