i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
