i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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