i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
How naked do you want me to be?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
