if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize