so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
