she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
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What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
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My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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