I want to walk on stilts...naked
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
