im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
