the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize