I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
