Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
he high fived his dick after we had sex
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
