so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
