I wanna passion pit in your ass
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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