I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
