Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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