My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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