i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
