I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
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