dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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