We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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