its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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