When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize