If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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