Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(513): View more from Ohio

Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives

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(757): View more from Virginia

I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"

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(605): View more from South Dakota

I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.

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(352): View more from Florida

never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..

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(865): View more from Tennessee

Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.

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(217): View more from Illinois

you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out

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(204): View more from Manitoba

So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.

(1-204): View more from Manitoba

You would...

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(775): View more from Nevada

You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.

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