She is in my trunk
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
