I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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