My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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