listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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