please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
