please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Randomize
