Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  :( I'm sorry!!!

  (847): View more from Illinois

  sexual favors sorry?

  (224): View more from Illinois

  absolutely not

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  (224): :( I'm sorry!!! (847): sexual favors sorry? (224): absolutely not http://tfl.nu/14ur
  Replies (30) Good night (963) Bad night (2190)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.

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  (732): im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad. http://tfl.nu/jkuj
  Replies (9) Good night (825) Bad night (3891)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.

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  (250): He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS. http://tfl.nu/xkr3
  Replies (5) Good night (1053) Bad night (2569)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  Semen is not good for contacts.

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  (727): Semen is not good for contacts. http://tfl.nu/krg1
  Replies (10) Good night (1128) Bad night (3322)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.

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  (719): I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush. http://tfl.nu/eys0
  Replies (11) Good night (2378) Bad night (803)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...

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  (701): Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper... http://tfl.nu/oauc
  Replies (4) Good night (764) Bad night (2240)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.

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  (704): I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it. http://tfl.nu/goy6
  Replies (13) Good night (4302) Bad night (1393)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.

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  (517): I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was. http://tfl.nu/tvxi
  Replies (19) Good night (1020) Bad night (2032)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.

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  (770): Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire. http://tfl.nu/2u40
  Replies (4) Good night (1153) Bad night (565)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.

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  (404): I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry. http://tfl.nu/xlvi
  Replies (1) Good night (676) Bad night (406)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao

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  (214): Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao http://tfl.nu/k098
  Replies (5) Good night (1035) Bad night (345)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.

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  (307): I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard. http://tfl.nu/j9hb
  Replies (15) Good night (1087) Bad night (567)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?

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  (417): Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA? http://tfl.nu/qvak
  Replies (2) Good night (482) Bad night (333)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher

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  (519): He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher http://tfl.nu/uiek
  Replies (7) Good night (847) Bad night (342)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation

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  (513): 5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation http://tfl.nu/t8h7
  Replies (1) Good night (767) Bad night (278)

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