Texts From Last Night

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  (913): View more from Kansas

  very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.

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  (913): very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute. http://tfl.nu/bjrt
  Replies (11) Good night (631) Bad night (1042)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer

  (214): View more from Texas

  i owe you one

  (469): View more from Texas

  thanks for snagging those panties for me

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  (214): btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer (214): i owe you one (469): thanks for snagging those panties for me http://tfl.nu/g3sv
  Replies (9) Good night (1320) Bad night (616)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.

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  (520): i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple. http://tfl.nu/a9o6
  Replies (7) Good night (1843) Bad night (609)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.

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  (512): he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success. http://tfl.nu/9rt5
  Replies (11) Good night (6721) Bad night (671)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.

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  (706): I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables. http://tfl.nu/8ikv
  Replies (25) Good night (5130) Bad night (643)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things

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  (847): We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things http://tfl.nu/jwjz
  Replies (7) Good night (3306) Bad night (981)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.

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  (508): I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle. http://tfl.nu/gqi2
  Replies (8) Good night (5198) Bad night (1316)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.

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  (602): I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off. http://tfl.nu/f702
  Replies (14) Good night (2924) Bad night (813)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.

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  (502): Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt. http://tfl.nu/f1ui
  Replies (10) Good night (3141) Bad night (878)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.

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  (707): He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love. http://tfl.nu/ve7z
  Replies (21) Good night (7354) Bad night (1125)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.

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  (484): she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard. http://tfl.nu/xcqc
  Replies (4) Good night (1817) Bad night (478)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.

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  (678): I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club. http://tfl.nu/jmao
  Replies (13) Good night (1099) Bad night (542)
• Favorite

  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.

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  (580): And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out. http://tfl.nu/h6lx
  Replies (2) Good night (1499) Bad night (591)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial

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  (406): She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial http://tfl.nu/8xau
  Replies (10) Good night (3449) Bad night (564)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.

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  (586): Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh. http://tfl.nu/lt2m
  Replies (3) Good night (641) Bad night (172)

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