i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who