So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
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Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
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Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.