I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
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Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
When are your genitals available?
Ladies don't puke and tell
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.