thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
