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• (954): View more from Florida

  youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party

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• (518): View more from New York

  i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  our cab driver is having phone sex.

  Fav 18 5750 2563

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.

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  23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (415): View more from California

  i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.

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• (716): View more from New York

  She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.

  (1-780): View more from Alberta, CA

  This is why we're friends.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.

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• (518): View more from New York

  I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.

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  These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (845): View more from New York

  Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person

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• (407): View more from Florida

  You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm

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• (561): View more from Florida

  Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested

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• (817): View more from Texas

  Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.

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