Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.