He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
