so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
