i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Randomize
