your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
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