Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
