then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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