4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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