i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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