i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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