This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
