So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
