i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize
