Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
