apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
