I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
