What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
