Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
