shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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