So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
This is my gift to your gina
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize