just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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