There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
