tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
