Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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