i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
